Tuesday, August 21, 2007

New Tattoo, A Dedication

My newest tattoo is of my cat. I had a cat, named Pearl, who slept with me every night, we slept back to back, and she and I were very much alike in many ways that I will not disclose. I often joked that she was my lesbian lover cat. We got her with Pouncer, and we named her Pearl because she had the coloring of a black pearl, a rich gray.

Anyhow, she and I were very close, and when she knew she was dying (she had cancer) she came to my room, where she knew she was safe, and loved. My mom procrastinated in taking her to the vet, sure that it was nothing, but she wouldn't eat, or drink, and she was in pain. I slept on the floor with her for 2 nights, before she died. I was out with Jon Hollister, the last night of smoking in restaurants in the city, and when I got home, he was with me, my mom told me the vet put her down. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I was devestated. Luckily Jon was still with me, and helped me feel better. Sleeping wasn't the same for a while, but I grew accustomed to the new way.

I had wanted a tattoo of her for a while and I finally got one, I couldn't be more pleased.

Now I can finally sleep with her again, we still even sleep facing different ways... <3

The tattoo itself hurt SO MUCH, because as opposed to my other two tattoos (all line) this was all shading. It was nearly excruciating. It took over 2 hours to complete and when he went back over it with the black ink, where he'd started, I almost started crying, it hurt to bad. The ribcage hurt SO MUCH, but when he was doing her butt, which wasn't on my ribcage, I could barely feel it. I went to Tatu Tattoo, and everyone there was so nice. Eli even actually came with me, which was almost kind of nice of him. I am only saying that because I am mad at him, it was actually really nice of him, considering it must have been really boring for him.

Anyway, I can't stop touching it, and feeling like a part of her is back with me, and I have some of the peace she put into my life back.

I feel so much calmer.


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