Ice Ice

So this thing happens to me, whenever I make myself remotely vulnerable, but then shot down, I go cold. It can be a good thing, but I don't like it when I end up listening to songs like "Lover I don't have to Love" by bright eyes. that is not how I want to feel. I want to love and be loved, and I am so tired of being taken for granted. I recently got spectacular advice from an unnamed source, that I am going to do my damnedest to follow. This source has yet to lead me astray. Anyway.

It's this horrible murki-ness, and I loathe it. I miss my old familiar friends. I saw Nick Aszling today, which was a lovely trip. I did a run and jump hug which felt great, because he didn't get all weird. I like that. He is moving back to chicago. Maybe I will see more of him. Maybe then I will also see more of Zoe. I miss the twins, and last summer, and I am sure I have said that before, but I can't stop thinking of doing nothing but bake with Aidan and Zoe all night and I miss Chaucer. I even miss Alex.

I want to fall down.