Wednesday, January 23, 2008


So, today is January 23rd. It's Eli's birthday, and what would be our two year anniversary. Weird. I do not regret at all how everything happened, and I wouldn't change a thing. It could have been weird though, if he were here. We'd have cake. That's all I can really say about it. It would have been sweet. I love cake. I feel bad for skimping out on Tim, and not going by Sweet Mandy B's. I really wanted those cupcakes, it is just so cold and snowy and awful.

I am sure he'll understand.

I finally have the Marcy Playground album. I missed it. These songs are so worn and warm in my ears and it feels good to have something old and familiar. Especially music. I LOVE this album. I don't like noise, but I love this sound. I feel like digging up a bunch of shit from my musical past. It feels good. It isn't the music I listened to with my friends, it was MY music. That was when I was interested in finding new music, now I feel like an old person, who only wants what they are familiar with and is scared of everything else. I am not scared, I just think it is largely a piece of crap. I Want to curl up my toes and lay in some mud.

Honestly, I thought it could not get better, but So Much For The Afterglow just finished and I am going to listen to it when I am done with this album.

My night is alright, even if I scoff at Dave.

OH MAN. So. Work. Sometimes Geri just breaks my heart. I try so hard to do whats right. It's like that night she closed and Dave and I were there and it looked mediocre to okay and she said that she would be pleased if she opened and it looked like that. Because she knew she worked hard and she felt like she did a good job. She didn't do a bad job, it looked fine, but I can think of so many times where I busted my ass closing the store, and I was told it wasn't good enough because I forgot this that or the other. I try so hard but it's never enough. For anyone.

I am so done with that being the case.


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