Saturday, March 29, 2008

There are so many things.

Michael is blogging. I can blog too. I never blog anymore. That's not cool. I am sure my many loyal readers miss me!

I have not been liking how I have been feeling mostly, these days. There have been internal conflicts that I am downright uncomfortable with. I think though that everything will resolve itself sooner than later.

I like Luna.

That was the only thing I saw of Michael's blog. Perhaps the Smashing Pumpkins song? I like that song, also. I remember when I used to fancy myself a "Luna." and I would design cool logos for my cute little nicknames for myself. I remember in Ms. Sinclair's History Research class, I did my Luna logo really big on one of the green chalk boards.

I find myself taking sides a lot, recently, and encountering difficulties because of that. Because I want to be a good, loyal friend, especially to someone I am so, almost desperately, fond of. But I cannot help but know that sad sad feeling of loss. Not knowing what went wrong, but having it be all out of my control. I sympathize with him though. It must have been hard. That girl has the sweetest eyes.

I am only sort of coming to grips with Dave's pondering over love. I want to hear that word so bad now. I want him to tell me he loves me. He used to, now he doesn't. It is awful. It makes me feel awful.

I find a lot of comfort in even being near Michael, though. I don't know why. But When we were in his car, driving back from practice, it felt so good, when it was just me and him in the car. Not in a romantic way, but in a way where I knew if I turned and said anything to him, he would listen to me, and wouldn't judge me. He is so easy. It is fantastic.

There are so many things you wouldn't understand.

There are a lot of things I wish I could say to you.

<3

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