Monday, January 25, 2010

There Are No Reptiles in the Antarctic

I have amassed a bit of knowledge since my last update, thanks in no small part to a book I picked up at Powell's on the way home from the bank. I had to deposit some money so I wouldn't overdraw after buying guacamole from Garcia's on a whim on Saturday night.

I have also been cleaning my pit of a room, near mercilessly. My mother used to say walking past my room made her want to vomit, and I thought she was insane. But since tidying up a bit, even the stuff on the floor now, makes me kind of claustrophobic.

Every Monday night I watch Hoarders on A&E. It makes me want to clean. It makes me sit the the rubble of my room and throw away the things I haven't touched, looked at, thought about, in months, let alone years. There was honest to God garbage on the floor. Trash. Old paper, empty pop bottles. I have thrown away 2 full, 39 gallon lawn garbage bags, filled with old broken, ruined things. I have 2 boxes filled with clothes, shoes, and things that I need to get to the Salvation Army, somehow.

I see pictures of girl's rooms on tumblr, and they are beautiful, and nothing is on the floor. It makes me crazy. I have so many things. I have so many clothes. I have so much junk, and getting rid of it is so hard. How could it be so hard to just throw away things I don't use?

I could use it tomorrow. That shirt I haven't worn in years? I'll wear it someday. I like the design, I can turn it into a pillow/purse/new shirt. I will never turn it into anything else. It will just be another shirt I never wear.

Rob got me this shirt, almost 5 years ago. I have worn it all of about 3 times. I don't want to give it away. I'll give it to someone I know. But I don't know if I could give it, just, away. I don't know.

I want to be done. I want to throw away the broken things. I don't need them to remember. The things I need are safe in my keepbox.

I am a keeper. Not a hoarder. I am a keeper. Not a hoarder. I am cleaning.

In other news: American Apparel now makes nail polish, which will be death to my finances.

I have an envelope.

I am saving money. I need to. I need to get out of this house. I shouldn't still be living with my mother. It's not that bad, but she's leaving this condo soon, for a smaller apartment, and I will need to go somewhere.

Winter is terrible. Last year around this time I escaped to Northern California, and now I want to go to Hawaii, or someplace. I need to go somewhere warm.

I want to wear shorts.

My feet are so cold.



1 comment:

dianegeorgejetson said...

wow. I really wish I could express to you how many things I don't have anymore. I lost my apartment two weeks ago, so you can have every single piece of art I ever owned, and all the cloths I ever had. In fact, if you really want to go through something that might make YOU vomit, I'll find a way to leave the keys to the storage locker where my life used to be so that you and John can pick through my life before you run away to ITALY.

Have a great life.