There Are No Reptiles in the Antarctic

I have amassed a bit of knowledge since my last update, thanks in no small part to a book I picked up at Powell's on the way home from the bank. I had to deposit some money so I wouldn't overdraw after buying guacamole from Garcia's on a whim on Saturday night.

I have also been cleaning my pit of a room, near mercilessly. My mother used to say walking past my room made her want to vomit, and I thought she was insane. But since tidying up a bit, even the stuff on the floor now, makes me kind of claustrophobic.

Every Monday night I watch Hoarders on A&E. It makes me want to clean. It makes me sit the the rubble of my room and throw away the things I haven't touched, looked at, thought about, in months, let alone years. There was honest to God garbage on the floor. Trash. Old paper, empty pop bottles. I have thrown away 2 full, 39 gallon lawn garbage bags, filled with old broken, ruined things. I have 2 boxes filled with clothes, shoes, and things that I need to get to the Salvation Army, somehow.

I see pictures of girl's rooms on tumblr, and they are beautiful, and nothing is on the floor. It makes me crazy. I have so many things. I have so many clothes. I have so much junk, and getting rid of it is so hard. How could it be so hard to just throw away things I don't use?

I could use it tomorrow. That shirt I haven't worn in years? I'll wear it someday. I like the design, I can turn it into a pillow/purse/new shirt. I will never turn it into anything else. It will just be another shirt I never wear.



Rob got me this shirt, almost 5 years ago. I have worn it all of about 3 times. I don't want to give it away. I'll give it to someone I know. But I don't know if I could give it, just, away. I don't know.

I want to be done. I want to throw away the broken things. I don't need them to remember. The things I need are safe in my keepbox.

I am a keeper. Not a hoarder. I am a keeper. Not a hoarder. I am cleaning.

In other news: American Apparel now makes nail polish, which will be death to my finances.

I have an envelope.

I am saving money. I need to. I need to get out of this house. I shouldn't still be living with my mother. It's not that bad, but she's leaving this condo soon, for a smaller apartment, and I will need to go somewhere.

Winter is terrible. Last year around this time I escaped to Northern California, and now I want to go to Hawaii, or someplace. I need to go somewhere warm.

I want to wear shorts.

My feet are so cold.

Also,

Yes.